Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass
by FGG
Summary: Life after the revolution... New awakenings and beginnings. AnthyUtena UPDATED May 4 2006
1. The Real World

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy! 

Chapter 1

Hatred. I was once told that there was no good and no evil, only hatred. Who is he then? A manifestation of all hate? Are all of the swords slicing through my body and soul merely he who wears the mask of an angel? Is that all it ever was? Is there no love? I knew I was the fool, I have always been proud to carry the banner of the trusting betrayed. And I would die for you still... If these million swords would release me into death. If only I could feel you again- Your dark skin in the moonlight... The rose petals dancing about your face... Anshii. Did you ever really love me? You said I could not be your prince... Can I now? I am sure I can no longer be described by gender... My flesh is so tattered; my body is now steel with a sticky glue of meat and gristle. Am I now your prince? I hope you made it, away from the hurt and deception, away from the dreamscape we were all enraptured by... Away from the incestuous hands of your corrupted brother. Please let us be reunited somewhere, someday. Please... 

Another sword lances through my tattered from. I wonder how they can all find a place in this bloody sheath, but I cannot deny as I feel the pain shooting through my very being. One would think my body was too broken to feel this anything, but no! How did you ever heal, my princess? Or were you always broken and I could not see behind your masked face? I would cry for you if I still had eyes, but my soul's tempered screams will have to be heard in the singing of the blades as they hit home. I miss you... When will I be released? I lost count so long ago. My soul cries out as another blade slices through the remains of my heart- the pain is unbelievable. I hope I have saved you... But part of me knows I have failed. Failed to relieve you of pain. Failed to stop the torture of Akio. Failed to prove to you that I... I love you Anshii. 

Searing light. Ho long has it been since I saw light? I see one last sword. It... it looks like the sword of Dios. I watch it, through nonexistent eyes, slice though my body. Right through where you plunged your own blade. Completely uninterrupted pain. And then bliss... The light is stronger. I feel a rush. Sounds, voices, fabric ripping. Warmth. I open my eyes. A man looks down at me. He looks worried. I feel wetness on my cheeks. I try to speak, to tell him I'm all right, but then I realize my throat is dry and I can feel a hole in my body. A hole.... I must be complete again, or at least an unripped semblance of a female form. I feel my strength retreating, but I hope I will live. So I can see you again. Maybe... I close my eyes and sigh.

~~~~~

Maro felt tears flow down his cheeks freely as he pressed a ripped section of his shirt onto the torso of a pink-haired slender teen sprawled on the grass. He quickly flipped out his cell phone and called an emergency number. Rapid-fire, he responded to the operator's questions and prayed as he hung up. He could feel the girl weaken... So much blood. Just like Ai. Several years ago, his daughter Ai had been raped and killed by the local knife gang going by the name of the Thorn Swords. She was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. During her usual walk home from school, she walked around the corner in an alley shortcut, and was met by an angry Thorn member covering a drug deal. The men all had their share, and then stabbed her in the back as she lay on the ground, cold and violated. As the day passed by and Ai did not return form school, Maro became concerned. He took the shortcut to reach the school, and was greeted by his daughters dying body. It was all too late by the time the paramedics arrived. Maro shook himself from his reverie and looked down at the girl. She looked like a bloodstained angel. A glimmer caught his eye... A locket? He slowly picked up the small silver object. "Tenjou. Tenjou Utena," he whispered the engraving aloud. Perhaps this was his second chance, a way to repent for failing his daughter. He looked up as he heard sirens. Two men in paramedic uniforms raced up the grassy hill in the hind of the area's florist shop.

He accompanied the girl to the hospital, and the doctors rushed her back to the ER. They asked his relation to the girl, and Maro breathlessly answered, "Guardian. I am her guardian." 

~~~~~~

"Anshii..." I call out her name into the stale room. I weakly open my eyes. Well, apparently I made it. Wait, where am I? Where is she? Is she here? I panic and I hear my heart race on the beeping monitor. "Ah, you've come back now, eh? Shhh, it's alright, we've got you. Relax. Your guardian should be glad to see you." I look up. Ah, a nurse. She sounds pleasant. So, I'm in a hospital. Why do I feel so empty? I can't remember why I am here... What happened? Roses, pain, dueling, Anshii. My princess. My memories... all fragments of a shattered glass; rose petals scattered in the wind. A man walks in. He is tall and has dark hair and a kind face. I remember those eyes... Was he the man who saved me? I feel a stone drop into my stomach. I couldn't save her. Please let her be all right. The man takes a seat at my side. I look at him. "Who are yo..." I cough and realize that I should probably save my strength. He looks at me with his deep hazel eyes and speaks tenderly, "My name is Maro Nanashi. I found you behind the local florist's. What happened to you, Utena?" I blinked in confusion. How did he know my name? I croaked quietly, "I... I don't know, Nanashi-san. I can't remember anything... Just my name. How did you know my name?" I want to sleep now... I feel so tired. "Please, call me Maro. I will be acting as your guardian henceforth, if only for legal purposes. You had this around your neck when I found you. I couldn't open it, but the engraving says 'Utena'. So I figured that was your name," he looked at me strangely and handed me a locket on a silver chain. I stared at the object, turning it between my fingers. There was a rose signet engraved on the back. I felt a strong surge of emotion. Swords slashing, Akio, the Rose Bride. I shook my head gently and tried to open the clasp. 

Inside I saw her delicate face. Her deep violet tresses. The green pools of her eyes. Her ivory skin. "Anshii..." I whispered again. Maro raised his eyebrow at me. Apparently my face had assumed some distorted pose. And why did this man want to help me, exactly? My guardian... It almost sounds nice. But no! I am supposed to be the prince, the savior. And here I am, weak on a hospital bed, under the wing of a strange angel, missing most every shred of my memory. I sigh and look at him. He seems to have decided to let me be, surrounded in the cloak of my thoughts. I know he will ask later what the locket means, but for now he seems to have realized I need rest. "I will let you sleep now, Utena. You have been out for several weeks already, but you lost so much blood it is understandable that you are exhausted. I hope that you are of health soon." He reaches out and squeezes my hand. A single tear rolls down his cheek. I want to cry as well, for the pain in his eyes, for Anshii, for the pain I feel coursing through my body and soul, but I am too weak. I weakly squeeze back, and he stands up and walks away. I feel the world fade, but I know I will wake again. Just need to sleep now...

~~~~~

How do y'all like it? My first Utena fic. Hope it's enjoyable... Send me your comments if you wish... They are greatly appreciated! Chapter two will be up later!


	2. Falling in Step

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 2

After four additional months of irregular sleep, IVs and other medical treatment, she was checked out of the hospital and brought to Maro's house. He had visited her every day after finishing work at the local University, bringing her food, flowers, books, and always a smile. She began to trust her guardian, and the hole Maro's daughter left in his heart was soothed by his new charge. It was summertime when she was released, so she had time to wander and contemplate her life... Or at least what she knew of it.

Maro occupied a small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. It was surrounded by many bright gardens of varying colors in their foliage and petals. Utena spent many a long day reading on the bench of her favorite part of the gardens- the rose garden. She would walk out after sharing breakfast with her caretaker and lose herself fantastic tales of knights and princes. When the sun was overhead she would rise from her reverie and water and prune the precious plants. Inside she felt a deep compulsion to do all she could to care for the sprawling garden of thorny vines. She cared for the plants best she could, and although she did not feel as though she was doing as well as her beloved princess could, she took consolation in the subtle beauty of the plants. Maro would return every day to Utena tending to the various gardens and always praised her constant work. Frankly, he was never quite the horticulturalist, but his gardens flourished under Utena's careful hand. They would then often have quiet dinners consisting of anything from ramen to simple tofu, vegetable, and rice dishes, for neither of them were successful at cooking. Maro had never quite picked up the talent, despite his years, and Utena had no patience for anything so tedious beyond plant work. They would then discuss everything from literature to music to theories, to Maro's past.

Two subjects were never breached however: Utena's history and Maro's wife and daughter. All Utena knew of her guardian's family was that his wife died at childbirth of their firstborn, Aki, and that Aki had been horrifically murdered. And all Maro knew of Utena's past was that the girl in the locket's name was Anshii, and that this girl was precious to Utena. If he pried any more, Utena's eyes would overflow with tears and she would be unable... or perhaps only refuse, to speak for the remainder of the day. But as long as these topics were avoided, they had complex and wonderful conversations that bonded the two tightly. One by one, memories returned to Utena's mind, but they never fit together quite as they should. She remembered no parents, no friends... only a noble prince with a corrupted heart, duels of some sort, a floating castle, and the Rose Bride, her dearest Anshii. And so their life reached a peaceful equilibrium for the summer.

xixixixixix

I sigh as I look up at the iron arch that frames the entrance to the high school I shall be attending. Today is my first day, and I have an odd feeling within. I look at all of the other teens... Some look jovial, some angered, some sad, and some... just as lost as me. I walk through the archway. At least they have several good sports teams. Maybe I will join the fencing and basketball teams... I catch a few people staring in my direction. Ah, probably my uniform. I looked into the rules, and nothing says that I cannot wear a boy's uniform. And since I felt compelled to have a male uniform and it was not expressly forbidden, I had a few tailored to fit. And so now they all look at me. I grin and wave at them, my satchel slung loosely over my shoulder. Some wave back, others just stare, somewhat disgruntled. I laugh to myself... And then I feel a strong hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see a tall woman... On her breast pocket there is an engraved piece of metal that reads 'Helga Strider- Guidance Counselor'. Damn. She looks at me appraisingly and asks, "Young woman, you must be new to the area. Women do not wear clothing made for men. It is simply inappropriate." I look at her and sigh. Maro warned me... but at least he didn't stop me.

I look in my satchel and pull out the handbook. The counselor now has a look of confusion...or perhaps bemusement on her features. I open it up to the page I had flagged and read the rule aloud. "Uniforms are required to be worn that fulfill the above said expectations and are purchased at either NPPA or these local tailors..." I hold up my receipt...It is from a locally acceptable tailor. "Ms. Strider, I do believe that this says nothing regarding gender or consequence of wearing clothing that is not typically for another gender. Thus, I think there is no problem. If you will now please excuse me, I do not need to be late on the first day. Good day," I say and promptly turn around and walk into school. I am sure she is not too happy, but I am right, and she is not. I sigh into the musty air of the building. I slip into class, and the bell immediately rings. I drift into a daydream as the teacher preaches into reluctant and distracted minds. Oddly, this situation seems familiar. Too familiar. I suppose I've never been a good student. I try to pay attention as I idly doodle on my sketch pad. Grr, can this man get any more boring? Some girls giggle in the back, and a huge jock is tapping his foot on the desk beside me. Annoyingly. And loud. Over and over... I feel the pencil snap in my hand. Darn. The teacher raises his eyebrow at me. "Perhaps you have a comment on the rules, Miss Tenjou? A problem with the dress code?" Ah, shoot. Now they all think I really have issues. With the dress code. "No, sensei. I am sorry I have disturbed the class." Now he won't stop watching me... Ok, no more doodling. I concentrate on the mole on his left cheek. At least I look like I am focused now... A breeze comes rolling in through the window. Roses... Anshii. I miss her so much... Her smiles, her hair, her brilliance... Ok, the teacher is noticing... Ah, I don't really care. This is history anyway. I wonder if anyone survived... Wait, anyone? I'm confused. Who else dueled? I must have fought many...

The bell is rings. Loudly. Like the hunk of meat jock next to me and his foot tapping. And now I have a headache on top of my confused thoughts. Great. And the teacher speaks like a dying raven: "Class dismissed. Oh, and team and club rush will be after school in two days in the gym. You may leave." Yes! At least then I will have something to do...

Viximon, Cassandra, Keiko-chan, Utenafangirl, and Kikyouko:

Thank you sooo much for the reviews... I am very sorry to keep you all waiting so long... Ending school and beginning summer has been a busy transition. (I will try and make up for it ASAP.)

And Kikyouko, Utena is pretty much only available to be watched in the US if one can buy/borrow the tapes or disks containing the episodes... I have seen as much of the series as I could, read the manga, and have seen the movie.

Have a good day, y'all.


	3. Not Forgotten

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 3

I look over the stale bedsheets at my prince, my lover, my bother. Only his twisted scowl tells me what I already know- I cannot take this torture any longer. I was an object for all to view, trapped in the birdcage he created. To have, but not to hold. But then she took me and reached inside- tried to pull the remains of what was my heart into a semblance of the beauty she saw. And I betrayed the one person who actually loved me... purely, with no intent to use or abuse me. And I stabbed her in the back with my own two soiled hands. At that moment -a moment too late- I saw clearly what Akio had kept me from seeing. That he was no longer the prince I had loved and tried so valiantly to save- Utena had become the manifestation of all I admired... All that I loved. I do not even care anymore that what I now wish for- no, pray for- is a guilty sin. They all will see our love as a smudge upon the earth. But still a lesser sin than sharing this bed with Akio. But I have lived a life of sin, and I do not see why living in a beautiful dream should be wrong if it is all for love. What is life without love? I have known the answer- Empty and cold and lonely. So I know what I must do.

I slide out of bed, naked and exposed to the morning chill in the air. And I think of Utena with every fiber of my being as I stare at the man who has lost his soul- the beautiful fallen angel who has become entirely corrupt. And the next thing I know, the Sword of Dios- the last shard of the pure prince left in this world- is in my brother's chest, my hands gripped upon the cool leather grip, and Akio opening his eyes in horror. The blade slides home as a sword into its sheath, and blood oozes from beneath the silently screaming man. And I feel no regret. Just freedom. I speak to him in a voice I am sure will haunt him into the depths of Hell, "Akio- you have no power over me anymore. The dream is over. And you are nothing." He forces a breath out in protest, but I slide the blade ever deeper into his flesh. I hope to whatever God may exist that he will feel the pain I lived for him and Utena in turn lived for me. I pull away as the sword grows hot, and a light shines from him. I catch a glimpse of Dios, with a somber grin etched upon his face- and then nothing. Nothing remains of the man I once loved, and the sword dissolves into oblivion. I slowly turn my back on the incestuous bed, and grab my clothing from the floor. I toss them into the eternally smoldering fireplace, and walk to my closet and withdraw Utena's spare uniform. I thank whatever power left this garment to comfort me, and bury my face in the fabric. She smelled sweet and clean... Her scent was as pure as her soul. I slip into her outfit slowly and deliberately, feeling the last of her presence surround me- blissfully enveloping me in all that she was. I walk to the door and grab the keys to my brothers oh so fancy car. I walk through the doorway, never once looking back. Chu chu appears from nowhere, and hops on my shoulder as he always does, but this time my little friend looks at the door and then me with a suspicious glance. I nod, confirming his suspicion. He grins the widest I have seen him grin outside of the presence of food, and we walk out into the bright daylight.

I will find Utena.

xixixixix

I wake up in a cold sweat. I remember the academy... the make-believe school, the duels and the fights for the Rose Bride, and Akio and his abuse of Anshii. I scream in horrific realization of what has happened, and the life I have lived before. I couldn't save her... I weep into my pillow, and Maro comes running into my room. Often I have had terrible nightmares, no, _memories_ of what happened previously: of my parents' death, a tortured princess, of battles won and lost, and of my own apparent death. But now everything fit together in a perfect weaving of epic proportions. And now I cry for all of the people that have touched my life- I feel pain only paralleled only by the Million Swords. And Maro takes me into his strong arms and holds me with all of his paternal strength. I am certain he knows something is terribly wrong, but how could he know what? So, I let him cradle me like a small child as I pray for Anshii and all of the others wrapped up in Akio's pleasant purgatory. But then something touches my soul. An angelic presence. Anshii- is she free? She must have... escaped? I suddenly feel calm. The sandstorm of emotions dissipates as suddenly as it appeared. Maro tilts up my chin and wipes my eyes free of their salty cloaks. He asks me if I am all right, and I respond with all the strength I could muster at this early morning hour. "I remember. Everything."

He looks surprised and concerned, but then I say, "It's is all right, everything will be all right. Anshii- she is free. And everyone else I knew... They have all been saved. My parents are dead, but you have been so good to me- the father I never got to enjoy. If you would like, I will explain my past. Who knows, maybe it will help..." Maro sadly smiles at me, and sates that he will listen if I am ready. An I tell him all I can remember, feeling the weight of years beyond my age lifted from my shoulders as I speak each word into the cool clean air.

When I finish, the sun has risen, and his face is kind, if not confused. I slightly chuckle, and say, "Its all right if you do not believe me- It is true that this sounds like it is from one of my fantastic novels. But this is what my life was..." He quickly stops me from continuing with an interjection of his own, "No, no. Of course I believe you. What a life though, only just fifteen and already there and back again. No wonder..." He hugs me tightly, and grins. "Well, it looks like I should be expecting a visitor. Never know when, but... We will see." I grin back at him. " Well, I am going to make breakfast. Utena, what do you want?" "Instant ramen work for you?" "Certainly, Prince Utena." I slug him softly in the shoulder and he laughs and rises from my bed. I could definitely use some food...

Utenafangirl: Yep... but it will get more interesting...

Blasphemy1: Thanks, I try to double check. (It irritates me too...)

Keiko-chan: Thank you... you're so nice!

Viximon: Ta-da! Anshii for your reading pleasure!

Hope y'all enjoy!


	4. Waterfall

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 4

I stare listlessly into the train window, letting my eyes become unfocused as my thoughts wander. The open fields of soggy grain stare back at me, and a glimpse of my purple-haired reflection lingers before me on the glass, prohibiting a pure view into the world beyond this locomotive. I have traveled so far to find her, from the world's end to the far reaches of Japan. More than a year has passed since I departed from the fantasyland that was Ohtori academy, and my tears spilt in secret have never failed to lead me ever further away from her. I have traveled alone in my quest, with few confidantes briefly assisting me from time to time, only to find empty promises and an uncertain trail. I know she is waiting- that is an undeniable truth that my heart knows and the only certainty I hold beyond my feelings for her. Freedom is limited without requisition of love, and the pain and regret and sorrow I carry will not leave me till I am safe in her arms.

I am now following another whim- a medium-sized city in central Japan. It is a suburban city, with a brief downtown of businesses and a few scattered Universities. It is hailed as a fine place to raise children, and the pleasantness of the town would be a good and well-deserved break even if I have no success. The flowers in the district are also supposed to be amazing... perhaps I will return there if my hands remain empty.

The train draws to a halt at the station... the scent of roses is thick in the air, haunting me with its delicate memories. I slowly rise from my seat, place Chu chu on my shoulder, and gather my belongings. I have become grateful that I decided to sell the car and travel light- it has afforded me precious freedom from the memories on my back as well as allowed me to travel with speed and efficiency. My heart begins to accelerate as I step off the train, wondering if this might be the end of my journey. I feel an odd comforting sensation, and my hopes rise. I am probably more excited than I should be- I have often found myself greatly disappointed because of such anticipation- but for some reason I feel justified. Something tells me she may be here, and I deserve to at least enjoy myself if not. So I walk away into the city, never once looking back.

xixixixixix

A loud clash echoed through the open gymnasium. Steel bit steel with a jagged spark. A parry, to a riposte. "Halt. Five right, one left. Bout." The two fencers removed their masks with practiced ease. The loser scowled, the bitter taste of failure stinging his tongue like blood. He looked across at the fencing team captain, the _victor_, with her dazzling blue eyes, long strands of wild pink hair, and a crowd of enamored admirers rushing to her side. She walked forward to greet him -always with a bright smile- and shook his hand, congratulating his technique and offering her thanks. He just bit his tongue and grinned back with an evil twist of his lip. He hated her for her good looks, her popularity, her self-confidence... everything about her was disgusting. But then again, Tenjou Utena was one to either love or detest beyond all reason.

I look at this new boy with a suspicious eye... He reminds me of Sanjjoi a great deal, and his angry eyes won't stop glaring at me from beneath his twisted grin. I let him get a point on me to keep him settled, but he does not seem satiated. He may cause trouble. Damn. Not what I need now. It's enough with these dogged admirers, keeping my schoolwork afloat, and fencing and basketball tournaments. I do not need _another_ enemy. But it looks to be too late. I sigh and take my sabre over to my bag... which is not a simple task with a couple dozen admirers whipping you around to check you over for bruises and ask how you are and too many other questions. Most of my 'fencing' bruises are simply badges of my popularity rather than marks of fast, stinging blows. I suppose it is my fault- If I were submissive and 'normal' I wouldn't have these problems. But then again, I have never been 'normal', and I do not plan on changing anytime soon. Out of the corner of my eye I spot my friend and co-captain of the fencing team, Tsuki. She grins at me and waves me over to her bench. I make my way through the crowd to her, and we walk to the locker rooms.

Pulling off my lamée, jacket, knickers, and knee socks, I toss them one by one into my bag. Tsuki looks at me with a grin and we begin to talk of our day. A regular day to be sure, except for the new fencing character. I had seen him in the hallways before, but he was always just another nameless set of eyes to me. Now I had to pay careful attention. I sigh as I pull my shirt over my head and walk over to the shower. My co-captain looks at me, and I just shake my head. I don't want to talk of another aggressor. I turn on the shower, and its steamy spray shoots fourth from the old and rusted faucet. I step into my personal waterfall, and let it cleanse me of the day. My thoughts always linger on Anshii during these brief moments of cleansing and respite. I miss her so badly, but I know I must be patient. I imagine her standing beside me in my mind's eye, smiling and purifying my tainted soul. I was always known for my naivety, but I have found wisdom and pain beyond my innocence. Slowly, I wash my hair and body, letting each second pass by leisurely. These showers were of not cost to me -lucky for Maro's water bill- and were worth more to me than any precious metal. And all too soon, I am clean and have to walk away.

I walk up to the school gate with Tsuki, and then we hug and continue on our separate ways. She was truly a good friend to me- she was always there when I needed her. We were the two most athletic girls of our school, and we were rumored to be more than friends by the two-faced social elite. Which was ridiculous, as our separate walks home and respectful distance demonstrated. We had a working relationship, and were the two girls everyone wanted to be. I never bothered saying anything about it though. Let the hungry little girls feed on fantasy. I will not be a whore to their wants and needs. They could find someone more stupid to take advantage of.

The sidewalk before me is cool and wet from an early spring rain. I carefully navigate the concrete path, taking care to step in every available puddle. I an wearing my good old beaten sneakers anyway, and the puddles call to the child in me like a flashy new car to a man or good chocolate to a woman. I hum a favorite tune as I jovially carry on- and then I see a familiar face in the puddle beneath me, just beyond the rubbery rim of my sneaker. I turn around swiftly and emit a small whisper into the wet air- "Oh my God..."

Dun dun dun...

Maybe a surprise, or maybe not...

Nothing is ever how it seems.

I am sorry if the last chapters were confusing with the transition btw characters- apparently FFN didn't like my spacers btw paragraphs. Sorries!

Utenafangirl- Hope this pleases... And I placed a vote for the art. Good stuff.

Viximon - Merci beaucoup. Enjoy!

Cassandra- Why thank you!

Misty- Thanks, I am trying to be true to each character's personality.

Keiko-chan- Thank you for your faithful reading and encouragement. It means a lot to me.

Ami- Thank you. I hope to keep everything well made.

Foxgirl- Thanks.

Hanako Yuriko- Ha! Thank you for reading.

Ja ne, y'all.


	5. Surrealistic

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 5

I stare into familiar eyes, chilled to the bone. This is not what I expected. I hear my satchel fall from my open hand, and the other person's lips form a small grin. He bends forward to pluck my books off the wet ground, and offers them to me. I cautiously extend my hand to this red haired dog with a cruel smile. 'Touga... You..." He presses the fingers on his other hand to my lips. I can smell styling gel on them, and cannot help but grin. He hasn't changed at all... or has he... "Utena, looks like I am the first to catch you. It's not wise to walk alone, haven't you heard? You could get hurt... Take this as a gentle lesson." He bends down to kiss me, to try to capture my innocence like when he stole my first kiss... And I step back and bring a cold slap onto his cheek. He brings his hand up to cup the offended skin, and once again smiles. I cannot believe his presumptuousness. I snatch my books from him and assume an offensive stance. His eyes dim, and he speaks now in a near-whisper, "Utena... Everything is different since you left... You saved us. You opened our eyes. And, Utena, she is free and seeking you. The last time I saw her, she was driving off, away from campus, and her eyes were happy. I have never seen her so... Free. But before she left, she spoke to me. She told me to leave, and to find love. As she was going to. She loves you so much, Utena. You are so lucky..." I relaxed as I saw the softness in his eyes... Were those tears on his face? Then I thought of his words. It was one thing to know something on instinct, in your gut... But to receive verification of such a thing is... I feel wetness on my own two cheeks. So I was right... I saved them... Touga looks up at me and feigns another grin. I copy him, and speak. "Would you like to come to my place for dinner? We could catch up..." He nods his head and says, "Thought you would never ask! Then again, how could you resist me?" I shoot him a speculative glare, and he raises his hands in submission. "Okay, okay. I won't try anything. Promise."

And we walk to my home in contemplative silence.

xixixixixix

I walk through the downtown streets, the rain pelting on my umbrella like a flood of tears. The empty street stares back at me, and the windows around me sport multicolored advertisings for the products they promise to hold within. I love to walk at times like this, when the rain is washing away the busy energy of the city and everyone has gone home to what they love- gone home to their reason for living. I stop beside an empty florist shop, marveling at their roses. Everyone in this city has something that is keeping them here- some passion, some cause. Be it a lover, a house, a job, or money, everyone has their own personal faith they cling to for survival. I suppose that is why I wander. I am searching for my religion. I find myself staring into a bouquet of delicate pink roses. She wore them into battle, a badge of honor and love. My own version of the lady kerchiefs valiant knights wore on their arm to signify their love for their own princesses. The rose is the symbol of my faith, like the cross or David's star. I turn away from the window, drawing in a sharp breath. Such thoughts always cause a shooting pain to lance through my heart and halt my regular pattern of breathing. I suppose that is a sign of my devotion... My devotion to her. I now understand why Utena had such drive to become the prince she loved and admired... It was her reason to live.

I look around and spot a small gate leading, I suppose, to the rear of the shop. I reach down with my slender hand and open the latch. Something clicks- not only in the gate, but also in my mind. I step through cautiously, hyper-vigilant as I have ever been. The bricks surrounding me seemed to scream at me- whether in pain or pleasure I could not tell. I walk another step forward, trembling in anticipation of.... what? I force a ragged breath through my quivering lips, and find myself at the end of the alley. Something pulls at me, pleading me to turn back, but my curiosity is too strong. I walk into the grassy yard stretched behind the shop, and the rain suddenly comes down in a torrent. I force my lead-heavy legs to move up the hill before me, and spot sickening red on the ground atop the mound. I fall and must crawl the last few meters, feeling gravity intensify and my head pound with effort. What wants to keep me away? Why? I must know... There must be a reason. So I crawl to the top, where blood and rain churn together with mud betwixt the blades of grass. And there is a rose and a feather waiting there, calling me against the will that has brought me to my knees. I reach forward, my hand scraping against the empty air, adding its blood to the pool, and grab the symbols off of the edifice. A letter appears in my hand with them and I pull back as the bloody pool bursts into flame. I fall back, unable to breathe, and then force myself to run. And I ran as never before...

Chu chu pinches my cheek, worried. I shoot up, expelling my breath into the dark hotel room. Chu chu flies through the air and lands on his face. He gets up, ruffled and somewhat angered, and shoots me a look of disapproval. I go over to him and lift him off of the ground and stroke his small head, whispering my apologies. He nuzzles into my hand, seemingly accepting my words. I look down at him in my hands, and gasp at the dark marks crisscrossing my skin. But it was a dream... Wasn't it? I turn around and glance at my bedside table, and sure enough, a rose, a feather, and a bloodstained letter await my attention. I run to the table, almost dropping Chu chu from my trembling fingers. I turn on the beside lamp- and notice that my sheets are sweaty as I sit down onto the bed. The letter is addressed to me in perfect manuscript- Himemiya Anshii. Deadly curiosity seeps into my mind, and I turn the letter over with uneasy care. It is stamped with, of course, the rose signet. 'No..' It can't be him.... I killed him! I reel back, and then draw myself together. I was being silly. Overreacting. Maybe... I resigned myself to opening the seal on the envelope, and the scent of roses washed over me like a summer breeze. I paused, fear causing my hands to spasm uncontrollably. The letter waited, seemingly mocking my weakness. I will not surrender control again! I tear the letter from its stained sheath, and unfold the parchment. I drop the letter as if it were afire, the name scathing my pupils. How... I feel sick. I collapse on the bed, not yet bothering to read the script. The seal, the writing, and that he dared sign it as "Your Prince"... It is all too much. I drift off... or really, pass out into the welcoming abyss of sleep.

There we go, a thoroughly confusing and/or confounding chapter.

Hope y'all enjoy.

Utenafangirl- Hehe. Hope you didn't die of suspense! ; P

Keiko-chan- Let's just say I have an enormous grin on my face. Thanks! hug

Viximon- Yes, having faithful readers like you means everything. Thankies!

Tycoris 1307- Thank you. I am glad to know I am keeping the characters accurate.

Cassandra- Thank you very much!

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 6

Seven o'clock, and the sun's bright halo is fading fast, suffocated by the thick veil of evening clouds. A few crimson tendrils reach out to caress the world around me, like a defeated girl reaching out to her lover in one last attempt to make him stay. My eyes slide closed as I turn away from the illumination streaming though the curtains. I look down at the pallid scars now tracing my hands, and try to stifle the overwhelming sense of dread flowing through my veins. I must find Utena.... And soon. But how in the Hells did he get to me again? The question reverberates through my mind like the echoing of a church bell. And I have no answer.

I cautiously rise, exhaling the breath I didn't realize I had held captive in my lungs. Making my way across the tiny room, I strip bare and toss my garments into the open suitcase. I turn on the shower and wince at the grinding noises emanating from the pipes behind the wall. I fill up the coffee maker with water of questionable quality and drop one of my own teabags into the place designated for ground coffee. At least I will have fresh tea to thaw the chill that has closed around my heart. The shower begins to steam, so I step into the harsh spray. I slam my fist on the cheap fiberglass wall, and the tears began to flow afresh. Damn him. My tears mingled with the cascade of water, and disappear as though they had never been conjured into this world. Chu chu squawks, alerting me that my tea was almost ready. I raise my voice to tell him to turn it off upon completion, and he replies with a muffled squeak of affirmation. With Chu chu busying himself with the looming pot of tea, I proceed to massage he shampoo into my scalp and drag it though my deep locks. Once done, I duplicate the process with the conditioner, almost bored with the monotonous task. My mind wanders to Utena as I idly lather up my thin, dark body. Where is she..? I imagine her here with me, smiling and laughing nonchalantly, carefully washing my back with her lithe hands.

Chu chu begins to knock o the bathroom door with his tiny fist, becoming impatient. I can see his little face in my mind's eye; cheeks puffed up in frustration, waiting for me to fetch him his cookie that awaited him in the suitcase. I almost chuckle as he pounds faster. The towels off the rack are stiff and harsh, but I grab two anyway and proceed to wrap up my hair and cover my nakedness. The impatient monkey teeters forward as I pull the door open. He looks up at me with a disapproving stare, but his features melt as he sees the rare smile on my face. His back then snaps up with ridgedness, and he points to the suitcase, puffing his chest out like a little bird. I oblige, and withdraw a small cookie from a side pocket and hold it out to him. He rips it from me greedily, and then as if on an afterthought, he runs over and hugs my hand. I crack another small grin, and walk over to the teapot. My hand trembles weakly as I pour the dark liquid into a styrofoam cup. I walk over to the bed and sit on the stiff mattress. Absentmindedly, I let my eyes wander, and they come to rest upon an insect ascending the wall, minuscule yet somehow important. It has a part to play in this world, just like all of us. To kill or be killed.

Damn. I chastise myself for letting my wind wander again. No good... I force myself to collect my thoughts. I mush find her soon- time is short. And yet, the pressure I expect the unknown time restraints to give does not fall onto my shoulders. Maybe she is here, in this town, somewhere... I process the possibility, and find doubt to be prevalent. But there is always a chance. That is one thing Utena taught me... taught us all. There is always hope. As the Rose Bride, hope had been extricated from my veins, but Utena, with her persistence and support, injected me with hope, and something I thought I would never feel again. Love.

So the question remains. Stay here, in this town, and proceed with a thorough sweep, or leave. Run away, and hope to find her elsewhere. Not easy. Never easy. But as I turn and look out the window at Rose's Tea Shop, across the street, I cannot help but feel that at last I have found what I have been searching for.

The red haired demon grins mischievously at me, a secret sneering at me from behind his eyes. He reminds me of a little boy who as just placed a 'kick me' sign on his peer's back. I roll my eyes as I open the front gate, pointedly stopping before I allow him access. "Touga," I say in the most authoritative voice I can muster, "I am trusting you only on the promise of your good behavior. One wrong act and..." I frown as he cuts me off. "I know, you will go all Amazon on my ass and kick me to a bloody pulp. I get the point, princess." I flinch at the nickname, but remain nonchalant as I lead him into my home.

Maro looks surprised as I toss my satchel onto the floor of the foyer and usher in my unexpected guest. He peers into my eyes questioningly, and I sigh. So much wasted breath... "Maro, this is Touga. The asshole from Ohtori." Touga gives me a snide look and chides me, "Now remember how I helped you, princess." I glare at him for the second trespass with the nickname. Maro senses the tension, and speaks, motioning toward the living room. "Would you like some tea, young man?" I felt my lips twist into a grin at the condescending manner with which Maro addressed Touga. Serves him right...

We all cluster around the small table in the kitchen, silent and absorbing the comfort of the warm tea. I take much pleasure in the feeling of the hot liquid pouring down my throat and into my stomach. A tight chuckle escapes my lips as I remember Anshii trying to explain basic body physiology to me. "Peristalsis?" she asked, quizzing my wandering mind. "Umm, when something takes your breath away and your lungs are briefly paralyzed?" I flinched at the stupidity of the comment. Then again, that perfectly described what I felt when I saw her beautiful face every morning. She shook her head patiently, like a teacher, and stated matter-of-factly, "The wavelike movement of the esophagus that pushes food into the stomach. Are you all right Utena? You seem distracted..." Damn right I was distracted. She looked so cute in her schoolgirl outfit, her legs crossed beneath her, her eyes querying as to why I had not studied previously.

She was so good to me...

I look up from my cup and blush as Touga clears his throat, obviously wanting to speak. "Sorry to interrupt the reverie, but..." I sit up straight, banishing my thoughts of a not-so-innocent Anshii, and put on a businesslike air. He proceeded to speak with no taunt in his voice. "Utena, I have been searching for something, anything to make me feel at home. After you left, the council began to fall apart. We were all lost, and the meaning of our lives changed irreversibly. We were given a second chance, a new slate to write out lives upon. Only, none of us had any idea what to do..." He paused, sighed, and sipped from his teacup, bothered. "But I think, deep inside, we knew there was nothing more for us there. It was time to leave the academy behind. Our last meeting was comprised of forgiveness, resolution, and unspoken farewells. I suppose... I suppose we knew we were given this chance of escape for a reason, and that there was something waiting for us out there, just beyond the doors we had always left closed." Maro eyes the boy before us curiously, and speaks the question already forming in my throat. "So, why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I am the harbinger of a new stage, a new era for all of us. And you can't shoot the messenger..."

Damn.

Hope that was better. Sorry it has been so long since the last update... Vacation, family death, stuff like that. Thank you for reading!

Cassandra- Thank you. Things will get... interesting. ; )

Viximon- I like the shock factor.

Utenafangirl- T'was meant to be confusing. But there is significance in the flower shop yard...


	6. Take a Breath

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 6

Seven o'clock, and the sun's bright halo is fading fast, suffocated by the thick veil of evening clouds. A few crimson tendrils reach out to caress the world around me, like a defeated girl reaching out to her lover in one last attempt to make him stay. My eyes slide closed as I turn away from the illumination streaming though the curtains. I look down at the pallid scars now tracing my hands, and try to stifle the overwhelming sense of dread flowing through my veins. I must find Utena.... And soon. But how in the Hells did he get to me again? The question reverberates through my mind like the echoing of a church bell. And I have no answer.

I cautiously rise, exhaling the breath I didn't realize I had held captive in my lungs. Making my way across the tiny room, I strip bare and toss my garments into the open suitcase. I turn on the shower and wince at the grinding noises emanating from the pipes behind the wall. I fill up the coffee maker with water of questionable quality and drop one of my own teabags into the place designated for ground coffee. At least I will have fresh tea to thaw the chill that has closed around my heart. The shower begins to steam, so I step into the harsh spray. I slam my fist on the cheap fiberglass wall, and the tears began to flow afresh. Damn him. My tears mingle with the cascade of water, and disappear as though they had never been conjured into this world. Chu chu squawks, alerting me that my tea was almost ready. I raise my voice to tell him to turn it off upon completion, and he replies with a muffled squeak of affirmation. With Chu chu busying himself with the looming pot of tea, I proceed to massage he shampoo into my scalp and drag it though my deep locks. Once done, I duplicate the process with the conditioner, almost bored with the monotonous task. My mind wanders to Utena as I idly lather up my thin, dark body. Where is she..? I imagine her here with me, smiling and laughing nonchalantly, carefully washing my back with her lithe hands.

Chu chu begins to knock on the bathroom door with his tiny fist, becoming impatient. I can see his little face in my mind's eye; cheeks puffed up in frustration, waiting for me to fetch him his cookie that awaited him in the suitcase. I almost chuckle as he pounds faster. The towels off the rack are stiff and harsh, but I grab two anyway and proceed to wrap up my hair and cover my nakedness. The impatient monkey teeters forward as I pull the door open. He looks up at me with a disapproving stare, but his features melt as he sees the rare smile on my face. His back then snaps up with ridgedness, and he points to the suitcase, puffing his chest out like a little bird. I oblige, and withdraw a small cookie from a side pocket and hold it out to him. He rips it from me greedily, and then as if on an afterthought, he runs over and hugs my hand. I crack another small grin, and walk over to the teapot. My hand trembles weakly as I pour the dark liquid into a styrofoam cup. I walk over to the bed and sit on the stiff mattress. Absentmindedly, I let my eyes wander, and they come to rest upon an insect ascending the wall, minuscule yet somehow important. It has a part to play in this world, just like all of us. To kill or be killed.

Damn. I chastise myself for letting my wind wander again. No good... I force myself to collect my thoughts. I mush find her soon- time is short. And yet, the pressure I expect the unknown time restraints to give does not fall onto my shoulders. Maybe she is here, in this town, somewhere... I process the possibility, and find doubt to be prevalent. But there is always a chance. That is one thing Utena taught me... taught us all. There is always hope. As the Rose Bride, hope had been extricated from my veins, but Utena, with her persistence and support, injected me with hope, and something I thought I would never feel again. Love.

So the question remains. Stay here, in this town, and proceed with a thorough sweep, or leave. Run away, and hope to find her elsewhere. Not easy. Never easy. But as I turn and look out the window at Rose's Tea Shop, across the street, I cannot help but feel that at last I have found what I have been searching for.

xixixixixix

The red haired demon grins mischievously at me, a secret sneering at me from behind his eyes. He reminds me of a little boy who as just placed a 'kick me' sign on his peer's back. I roll my eyes as I open the front gate, pointedly stopping before I allow him access. "Touga," I say in the most authoritative voice I can muster, "I am trusting you only on the promise of your good behavior. One wrong act and..." I frown as he cuts me off. "I know, you will go all Amazon on my ass and kick me to a bloody pulp. I get the point, princess." I flinch at the nickname, but remain nonchalant as I lead him into my home.

Maro looks surprised as I toss my satchel onto the floor of the foyer and usher in my unexpected guest. He peers into my eyes questioningly, and I sigh. So much wasted breath... "Maro, this is Touga. The asshole from Ohtori." Touga gives me a snide look and chides me, "Now remember how I helped you, princess." I glare at him for the second trespass with the nickname. Maro senses the tension, and speaks, motioning toward the living room. "Would you like some tea, young man?" I felt my lips twist into a grin at the condescending manner with which Maro addressed Touga. Serves him right...

We all cluster around the small table in the kitchen, silent and absorbing the comfort of the warm tea. I take much pleasure in the feeling of the hot liquid pouring down my throat and into my stomach. A tight chuckle escapes my lips as I remember Anshii trying to explain basic body physiology to me. "Peristalsis?" she asked, quizzing my wandering mind. "Umm, when something takes your breath away and your lungs are briefly paralyzed?" I flinched at the stupidity of the comment. Then again, that perfectly described what I felt when I saw her beautiful face every morning. She shook her head patiently, like a teacher, and stated matter-of-factly, "The wavelike movement of the esophagus that pushes food into the stomach. Are you all right Utena? You seem distracted..." Damn right I was distracted. She looked so cute in her schoolgirl outfit, her legs crossed beneath her, her eyes querying as to why I had not studied previously.

She was so good to me...

I look up from my cup and blush as Touga clears his throat, obviously wanting to speak. "Sorry to interrupt the reverie, but..." I sit up straight, banishing my thoughts of a not-so-innocent Anshii, and put on a businesslike air. He proceeded to speak with no taunt in his voice. "Utena, I have been searching for something, anything to make me feel at home. After you left, the council began to fall apart. We were all lost, and the meaning of our lives changed irreversibly. We were given a second chance, a new slate to write out lives upon. Only, none of us had any idea what to do..." He paused, sighed, and sipped from his teacup, bothered. "But I think, deep inside, we knew there was nothing more for us there. It was time to leave the academy behind. Our last meeting was comprised of forgiveness, resolution, and unspoken farewells. I suppose... I suppose we knew we were given this chance of escape for a reason, and that there was something waiting for us out there, just beyond the doors we had always left closed." Maro eyes the boy before us curiously, and speaks the question already forming in my throat. "So, why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I am the harbinger of a new stage, a new era for all of us. And you can't shoot the messenger..."

Damn.

Hope that was better. Sorry it has been so long since the last update... Vacation, family death, stuff like that. Thank you for reading!

Cassandra- Thank you. Things will get... interesting. ; )

Viximon- I like the shock factor.

Utenafangirl- T'was meant to be confusing. But there is significance in the flower shop yard...


	7. Into the Preparation

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 7

Visions of her face skew my dimmed vision... Pained and trapped in a cage of razors, she stares at me in silent question. All I can do is reach out to her, but I know it is hopeless... I will never be strong enough... to save her.

I wake, startled by the breath of a stranger above me. I reach up and grab the intruder's neck with both strong hands, my eyes shooting open to see his face. "Damnit, Touga, its a Saturday for goodness sakes!" I release him slowly, and he rubs his injured limb with care. "Sorry, little Miss Tenjou, but I thought you had to go shopping for the carnival tonight." I glare at him accusatorily. "But this early?" "Princess, I did not want you to sleep the day away! For, you see, it's already noon. So don't go throwing blame around carelessly." I sit up straight, making sure to push him back with an outstretched arm, and curse aloud. I am to meet Tsuki in fifteen minutes at the mall. My regret at offering Touga sanction in my house almost subsides for a moment. He may have use yet. Seeing my expression, he hands me my clothing and slowly closes the thin room door behind him. I reach down and lock the door like a serpent lashing out at its prey, and quickly change. By now, Tsuki was used to me being occasionally tardy and was probably prepared to wait at least fifteen minutes. I run out the door, calling out to Maro that I would be back at four. The car keys ready at hand, I slide into the faux leather seat and start her up. I take much pride in my vehicle... She seems to represent who I am inside. Beautiful, strong, a little young and perhaps naive, but at the same time timeless with a dark wisdom and mystery. At least, that is what I like to think.

So I drive to the mall, park my baby, and dash to our designated meeting spot. "Only five minutes late this time, eh?" Tsuki laughs at my uncomfortable grimace, and ushers me down the corridor. Tonight is the carnival. The 'Festival of the White Rose'. The hundredth annual was being held tonight, and while the roses were no longer restricted to the white variety, the same basic traditions were still followed. Wild drunkenness, games, food, and entertainment. And of course, the relatively new addition of Karaoke. But as all local holidays, a town tradition was followed. There was a medieval theme to the festival, and all people were dressed in their velvet and silk finery. Contests were held for the best outfits, most beautiful roses, and for the finest couple. They would be crowned the prince and princess of the festival, and if the prince could defend his princess from anyone who dared to try and take her away until midnight, they would become the royal couple and receive gifts aplenty. And I, having a sense of romanticism, had often dreamed about claiming this position with Anshii. Thus I am more than anxious about the events of tonight.

But then again, I am rearing myself up for nothing. Only the most bizarre twist of fate could bring her here now, and the time that has passed brings me to despair.

Tsuki looks over at me, concerned. "Hey, stay chipper, Utena. Surely the fried foods won't give you heartburn that bad!" I chuckle softly, and she rubs my shoulder. "Aww, cheer up, chika. You never know, there may be a chance..." I look over at her. She could be so thoughtful- and she always knew exactly what was bothering me. I give her a sad smile, and she points to a store on the far wall. "Hey, I know what would cheer you up!" And as I tasted the first bite of my triple chocolate brownie fudge ice cream, I knew everything would be all right.

xixixixix

I am walking downtown again, but this day the sun greets me warmly like an old friend. Chu chu is singing a ditty he heard on the television, and I am searching for a dress shop. A short while ago I was enjoying a cup of tea at the shop across from my hotel, and I overheard a couple of girls excitedly talking about an upcoming celebration. I saw the flier they were peering at, and quirked an eyebrow. "Ladies, if I may be so rude as to interrupt, what is this celebration that has you so excited?" The looked at me as if I was stupid, or maybe oblivious, and one spoke. "Every year this town has a festival celebrating roses. It is supposed to honor the spring equinox as well. The whole celebrating roses before summer thing is stupid to me, but who am I to say? Anyhow, its like a huge deal, and we all dance and play games and dress like medieval people and stuff. Its fun, and the parents don't care if we get pissed drunk. Where have you been and not heard of it? There was a huge national story about it like five years ago!" I sighed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." The girl shrugged, and handed me the flyer. "Take this, and go get yourself a medieval looking dress or something. I think you'd have fun. You seem the type." With that, she gestured to the girls and they walked out, fashionable purses at hand. I shrugged, and continued with my tea.

And now I am shopping for said dress, with thoughts of dancing with Utena filling my head. Maybe she will be there... If she is in this town she will most likely come, right? I sigh and look up just in time to see a dress shop on my left. I give it a once-over for a quality check, and noting the banners declaring that 'yes, we do have medieval dresses on sale!' I walked inside. A tall slender woman that looked to be in her twenties prances up to me, a wide flashy grin splayed on her face. "Hello miss, how may I help you on this fine day? A last minute medieval dress, perhaps?" I smile at her and nod, needing no words as she enthusiastically drags me over to a large rack. "Hmmm, let me see, you will probably need something pale to contrast with your complexion..." The woman becomes absorbed with her search immediately, and I casually walk to the other side and shuffle through the wide selection. Finding a deep violet and lavender dress that matched my hair, I hold it up for approval. "Oh my, yes, try that one!" With flourish, she guides me to a dressing room and lays the dress on the chair. "If you need any help with the corset part, let me know dear!" I carefully slide the door shut and remove my clothing. With reverence, I slide on the dress and tighten the built in corset back. I had had many years of dressing myself in such a way, and I could do the impossible with ease. But, since Chu chu is here, I have him finish the back by tying a little bow of the ribbon. I sheepishly admire myself in the mirror, my reflection pure and undaunted now. I look simply beautiful. Chu chu whistled his admirations, and I walked into the main storefront. The lady who had assisted me grins widely and claps her hands, chewing her gum rapidly in excitement. "Oh, my. You'd make a fine princess, my dear!" I smile at her, thinking 'You have no idea' and walk back to the dressing room. I exit with the dress in both arms, and the woman rings up the total, taking 20 off for 'such a fine young woman'. I thank her and leave, a grin plastered on my face for the first time in a long while. I actually have hope...

xixixixix

My ice cream long since swallowed down into my stomach, I rise from the table Tsuki and I were discussing school at and throw away my trash. We walk into the main fray of people once again, and head for the tailors' shop. We slip inside and the man at the register greets us warmly. "Utena! How is my favorite customer doing today?" I chuckle and hug him. He is Maro's good friend Mathieu. They had been close since grade school when Matt moved to Japan, and he now supplies a great deal of my household's clothing, from uniforms to suits to the occasional dress on my part. He runs the store with his wife, and they always greet me, their 'big niece Utena', with all of the kindness they were famous for. He waved at Tsuki and called for his wife, Veronica, to come and say hello. "So what will you be needing today, niece? An outfit for tonight perhaps? Will you be in a dress to confuse your admirers? Or would you prefer more masculine attire?" I crack a grin, and hear Tsuki struggling not to laugh behind me. "You know better than to laugh about my clothing choice, Tsuki. Matt, I would like nothing better than a fitted, elegant, princely tunic, complete with tights, boots and a ring. Only, I already have the ring and dark boots. Though I do not know which color the outfit should be..." He grins and shows me to the back, and his wife rechecks my measurements. "Looks like you're just the same as always, at least physically..." Veronica smiles at me and winks. She whispers in my ear, "Have a special someone tonight?" I blush and shoo her away. Curse her for being a maternal figure! Tsuki takes a guess at the subject, shoots me an awkward smile, and selects the design she wants. They adjust her dress slightly, and tell me to be back in an hour and a half to pick up my tunic. I nod and depart, anxious about tonight. But first, where to find some tights...

Ok, I will stop being anticlimactic.

Cassandra-Thank you, I am allright.

Kino amiko-Here we go!


	8. The Carnival

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters.

Also, the song "Nobody Noticed It" is the property of Lisa Marie Presley.

Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 8

The crowd ebbs with the music stringing through the air. People of all ages buzz with excitement as they rush forward into the fairground. Decorations flutter in the breeze, unnoticed by many as they attend to the several bright attractions strewn across the lawns. And I stand still, watching the world happen around me. I feel as though I have reached an ultimatum in my life, and have no idea why. The many faces continue to pass me by, and I will my legs to move. I catch some young men staring at me in a most inappropriate manner, and shoot them a deadly glare. They laugh and duck away, slapping shoulders and smacking over-chewed gum. My dress is a glimpse of perfection, and seems to offer me a kind of purity that I cannot achieve on my own. I walk over to the line for a little ride, and a married man smiles at me kindly. He asks me if I am alone, and I hesitantly confirm his assumption, comforted by the presence of his wife and child. The kid grins up at me in her cheeriest gap-toothed manner. I smile back, and they offer to let me join them in their cart. I accept, graciously.

I always found riding with other people comforting. Like for just those few tiny minutes, I was a part of something precious. Something I knew could never really have. I was part of something rare and beautiful in this ugly world of hate. I was a member of a family. A real, happy, loving family. No distortion, just pure exhilaration and happiness... A freedom I could not otherwise afford. We all climb aboard and smile a universal smile... The kind of grin from inexhaustible childlike happiness. And for a few moments, I was home.

xixixixix

Tsuki grins at me as I straighten my tunic for the hundredth time. I know I look good, but good just isn't perfect. I sigh as we approach the crowd before us, knowing full well that this evening would be interesting, with or without romantic happenings. Partly because Touga had decided to tag along- but also because the festival has never failed to be an exciting event. I stare up at the Ferris wheel proudly reaching towards the heavens, and then at the small children racing past my feet. Every color imaginable streams to my eyes from the banners advertising games, food, and various (generally alcoholic) beverages. The air smells of sweets and an excited tension is present.

I look over at the stage, advertisements for the romantic contest to be held shortly, and laugh at the young men boasting their princeliness to their girlfriends. Whatever. But now I see the Karaoke. A grin flashes across my face, and Tuski gives me a skeptical look. "Not again... Your habits are ridiculous!" Tsuki had at one point taken me to a karaoke bar, and she regretted the night ever since. Every week I would go to the local hotspot and sing to my heart's content, basking in the eyes of the many people staring at me. Whether they enjoyed it or not, I have no idea, but it was most entertaining. I motion to Tsuki to wait there, and run up to the stage to sign up. 'Hmm... What would be appropriate for tonight? '

xixixixix

I step off of the ride, the small child hugging my legs giddily, and the parents smile and usher their babe away. To them I gesture a goodbye, and then stand still for a moment. A wave of something familiar rushes like alcohol through my veins- I shake my head and try to pinpoint the source of the emotion. As I search frantically with my eyes, my ears subconsciously pick up the melody of a tune I'd heard a while ago. But it is not a voice I was accustomed to speaking the words- an angel's cry was piecing through the swells of noise rising from the crowd. Oh God... I feel the earth tilt beneath me, and my feet began to totter towards the source of the sound. I couldn't be... Utena.

I sing out, my soul shuddering with the words that flow from my tongue. An intense longing fills me, and the colossal emotions that had been waiting within my breast flow outward through my limbs.

"I heard broken footsteps  
Was that you limping?  
Well I wish I that could have spent just a little bit more time with you...yeah"

xixixix

I walk towards the voice, familiar and haunting, enraptured by the spell she weaves.

"Tears on my ceiling  
Weren't you watching?  
Well I guess that none of us will ever know what comes after this"

xixixix

"You're still lovely  
You were lovely then  
All that you had to endure  
I guess nobody noticed it"

I belt out the words, feeling the familiar rush of power I had felt during the duels. I remember her rapturous glance as she would walk to me, gently placing the rose on my breast- her tantalizing fingers grazing me... And then the sadness in her eyes as she had silently pleaded for me to win. Or perhaps I misread her- perhaps she was pleading for me to lose, so I would not come to the fate she knew was looming.

"I know your resemblance  
It's out there walking'  
And I wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten.

When they try to make you look broken  
Not while I'm living'  
But I wanted you to know that I heard what you said when it was raining'"

xixixix

I know she is calling me. Like a siren to the rocks, I will come and crash on her, a shipwreck of a girl. But it cannot be helped. I need her.

Always.

"You're still lovely  
You were lovely then  
All that you had to endure  
I guess nobody noticed it

xixixixix

You made me  
I love you  
And do you know nothing has changed  
Now everyone they notice it  
Everyone notices"

And I cry out the refrain once more, a last plea to God that I will be saved. Because I know there is no salvation but her.

"You're still lovely  
You were lovely then  
All that you had to endure  
I guess nobody noticed it"

You made me  
I love you  
And do you know that nothing has changed  
Now everyone they notice it  
Everyone notices"

And as the last note falls from me, I see before me a vision of everything I have loved in the world.

It was the revelation I had been seeking since the apocalypse.

She was here.

xixixix

I look up into her eyes as the last word falls from her mouth. The crowd begins to cheer wildly, but all is silent about me. All I see is her. The ivory hand reaches down to me, and I am lifted onto the stage. I feel as though I am a vaporous mass, dazedly hovering over the earth below.

We stare at each other for a moment, dazed. A few electric centimeters lie between us, but it is all I can do to breathe as I drink in her presence. I look up into those brazen eyes, blazing as fiercely as ever, and I know I am finally Home.

xixixix

I envelop her in my arms, gently, as not to break the spell. Distantly, tune begins to play, but if it was from a loudspeaker or restricted to our presence I cannot know. I take her hands, placing one on my tufted shoulder and securing the other in my grasp. We begin to sway, my hands guiding her slowly. We fall into a waltz as the tempo begins to escalate, and she mirrors the slow grin I am sure is creeping onto my lips.

And the music stops. We halt succinctly, not caring that we have hogged the stage, not caring that we are two women, not caring that we had been to Hell and back. All that matters is her, in my arms, staring into my eyes. I feel the intensity growing; the distance between us collapsing.

And then we kiss.

xixixix

The feeling is the most beautiful thing I have felt in all my years of living, if you could call my petty existence a life. Her lips are soft and gentle, but firm as her embrace. In that instant I realize that this, that _she_, is all I have ever wanted or needed. And nothing else would ever matter.

My prince, my true savior, has me in her arms, and nothing will ever destroy me again.

FG

Hope you enjoy! Such a long hiatus, I know, but I felt that I should continue.

Life is a fascinating thing, and it is amazing the difference a year makes in your perception of reality.


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